Posted by: littlegirlyone | July 16, 2007

synergy

the internet is an amazing device. with the click of a button we can get information, seek solace, express ourselves, find everything from shoes to sex, and make friends. as thrilling as many of the internet’s uses are, and as much as i use it for other, less innocent pastimes, making internet friends is the most surreal and moving experience i’ve had online.

i remember my first AOL account, my first screen name, and my first experiences with chat rooms. how thrilling that i could click into a virtual room full of strangers in exotic locations. this was before people were inundated with stories of child predators on the nightly news, when a 13 year old, suspectly submissive little thing like me could prowl the chat rooms, full of yearning.

i really can’t remember the first time i “cybered,” although i’m positive it was early in my internet explorations. initially, it was arousing, especially to a dirty minded young thing like me. of course, i always lied, claiming to be 18 and living in some remote location. i recall the deep, unfamiliar clench between my thighs as a stranger typed words like “pussy,” “fuck,” “cock,” and i, being the demure little girl that you all know and love, mainly replied with “oh,” “yes,” and “mmmmm.”

gradually, cyber sex became a cliche. there really are only so many times that a girl can get excited by dirty words, disconnected from a presence or a voice or an image. at least that’s what i thought. until recently.

when i started writing this little blog, i hoped only to help myself. i was struggling in my first D/s relationship, and had found some comfort reading persephone’s submission. i saw myself in her posts, related to her feelings. it stirred something in me, a desire to express this internal conflict related to my submission.

soon, i found myself feeling like i knew the bloggers i read so often, thinking about them as real people, not just two dimensional cyber-people. and then, for the first time since AOL, i started chatting.

not to give the impression that i’ve been engaging in cyber sex with my readers (i assure i currently do not). but mainly, i’ve started interacting with a few readers on a more – well, for lack of a better word – interactive level.

i’ve been absolutely stunned, thrilled, amazed and gratified by a feeling of connection to some of the people i’ve made friends with, but never met. i’ve found myself engaged in a chats that feel like a live conversation, that connect so deeply with me that i’ve felt known.

with persephone, i feel like a 13 year old girl, giggling with a best friend in her room, calling boys on the phone, playing Truth. i feel cherished like a dear girlfriend, understood. there is something so comforting about starting a friendship once your submission is on the table: i have few scarier secrets, so having that out from the beginning is a true release.

a different reader has triggered an altogether different, but no less incredible, sensation. for some reason in our chats, i feel an incredible erotic rush, even when discussing something completely non-erotic.

i write this simply in celebration of internet friends, and in thanks for the synergy. i have had deeply affecting connections with some of you, and have enjoyed it more than i have enjoyed chatting in a long, long time.


Responses

  1. big kiss!!! and lol… the readers we share are going to find some repetitive ideas, words, and phrases when i post the piece that i started working on earlier today.

  2. this IS a wonderful community! Reading and ‘meeting’ people who share in the wonderment of what we do brings such a sense of acceptance to this lifestyle.

  3. Yes, I feel privileged to be part of this.

  4. again, my sincerest gratitude to you all.


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