Posted by: littlegirlyone | July 25, 2007

the forbidden

i spent the fourth of july holiday at my parent’s house. they live in a small mountain town about 6 hours from me. they moved there after my brother graduated high school to escape life in the city once more. my mother, a born and raised, 4th generation san franciscan, had had her fill of traffic, commuting, parking, and large populations. my dad wanted hawaii, but my mom won out, and within the summer, they’d moved from their city life to a town where i knew no one, and neither did they.

5 years have passed and they have a lot of friends. Liam and Marie are two new friends. Marie is a darling little lady, sweet as can be, and always quick to hug me. Her husband Liam is one of my darkest desires in the flesh.

He’s married, friends with my Dad, over 60, and incredibly attractive. oh, and he has a terrible, wonderful habit of flirting with me.

last 4th of july, i’d similarly traveled to my parent’s house. they were throwing a party for a large group of friends. somehow, as a help to my parents, i ended up the bartender. i should preface this story by admitting that anyone who’s ever seen me drink would know that was a mistake. i’m a cheap date, lightweight, alcohol-weakling with no tolerance. two years of grad school and a profession known for heavy drinking hasn’t built me one, and so i believe my ‘two drink drunk’ title is one i’m stuck with for a while.

so the youngest girl over 21, with the lowest tolerance, and the greatest sassy belligerence was set in charge of the alcohol. wonderful. i compensated for never getting a chance to sit and drink my own (it was kind of a big party) by drinking the ‘leftover’ in the pint glasses when i was done shaking and pouring. bad idea, extremely bad idea. i was plowed, room-spinny drunk.

this will shock you, i know, but i’m also a bit of a flirt when i drink. actually, i’m a flirt when i’m sober, i’m a man-eater when i drink (sort of) in my own giggly but still seriously aggressive way. eyelashes, pouting, flirtatious twists of the leg, smiles, bending at the waist, dancing like a spring break freshman – i have been known to perform any combination or all of the above moves once i reach my 2-3 drink state.

i don’t actually remember who started it. all i know is that Liam, friend of my Dad’s and 40 years my senior, took every possible opportunity to engage me in conversation, and to hug, caress, tease, tickle and (gulp, fan me!) invite, no, insist, that i sit on his lap. i spent the next three weeks thinking about him, and wondering if i could be scandalous and email him despite all the problems with the idea.

this year, my mom ‘dragged’ me over to visit Liam and Marie before the party. i was wandering around their sizeable backyard alone – my mom was inside with Marie, and i’d assumed Liam was out since i hadn’t seen him yet. all of a sudden, i hear his voice, coming from somewhere inside the house. i started to walk towards him, asking where he was.

“i’m getting dressed in the bedroom,” he informed me. i stopped still in my tracks. “don’t worry,” he called. “i’m a bit of an exhibitionist.”

i blushed every shade of pink. i stood rooted in place. behind the screen door, not 50 feet from me, Liam was in some state of undress. and he was watching me. shivers. sighs. yum.

so i’ve been wondering just what about the much older man holds so much intrigue and erotic charge for me? it’s not just Liam, although he is particularly appealing. i’ve felt this way most of my life.

when i think about dating someone that much older, i am particularly aroused by the thought of engaging in public displays of affection with him. i’m not talking about anything too scary, nothing more than a kiss on the lips would do it for me. it’s the idea of being publicly ‘outed’ as a very naughty little girl gives me shivers.

last fall, before i’d met john, i met an older man in a bar for a ‘getting to know you’ drink. he wasn’t all that scandalously old, i think he was in his mid-40s. and he was handsome and took very good care of himself. but he had very sexy gray hair, and he was a psychiatrist. the combination of his looks and his profession drove me mad with lust. after i’d chatted with him for over an hour, and also after i’d slurped my way through 1.5 drinks, he said, quite calmly and with ALL the arrogant confidence i could desire, that i was going to kiss him. on the lips. in the well-lit, happy hour, young professional crowd bar.

being the shy little thing that i am (i know you all must think i’m lying but i’m terribly shy in person) i refused. i gave him at least three excuses as to why i wouldn’t do it: someone i know might be here, we just met, i’m shy, etc. he glanced at me, his eyes full of amusement.

“if you don’t lean over and kiss me on the lips in the next 30 seconds, i am going to tell that bartender that you are a submissive little slut with a Daddy fantasy, and that once we are done here, i am going to take you somewhere and spank your little ass before i fuck you.”

my eyes flew wide. “you wouldn’t! you’re not!”

“try me.” he looked at his watch.

i sat still on my barstool. i fought the idea. i hated that he was making me kiss him. if anyone should be kissing anyone, he should be kissing me. i was 20+ years his junior and i was a girl! i don’t make the first move!

he sat. he waited.

i blushed, leaned forward, took a deep breath . . . and pressed my lips against his waiting mouth. i burned with humiliation, and with desire. he could have taken me anywhere right in that moment, that’s how deeply i’d melted when i gave in.


  1. this was incredibly erotic.

  2. Speaking as an older man – well, I have to agree with persephone!

  3. Oh, my god. I am so aroused it’s embarrassing. I can definitely relate– I have ALWAYS had a thing for older men. My current Master is 28 years my senior, but I’ve been in a relationship with even older men before. There’s just something about that devilish, self-assured charm that makes me want to be ridden hard.So glad you left a comment, because I’m thrilled to have found your blog!

  4. thanks guys 🙂 i love to please!

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