Posted by: littlegirlyone | January 14, 2008

never have i ever . . .

you’ve played this drinking game, haven’t you? i actually learned it in high school as a slumber party game called “ten fingers,” but the premise is the same: the group sits in a circle. someone starts by stating, “never have i ever ____.” she fills in the blank with anything she hasn’t done. the other players either agree with the statement (they haven’t done that, either) and “pass,” or disagree with the statement (they’ve totally done that) and lose. in high school, you lost a finger, which meant that you only had ten possible losses before you were out. in the drinking version, the loser drinks, and there are unlimited rounds that a girl can lose.

in other words: this game gets the sluttiest girl (or guy) at the party drunk the fastest.

i traveled in a group of 40 19-26 year olds. i was the second oldest person on the trip. and i traveled with my brother, some two-odd years my junior. all of this made for an interesting dynamic on the night that around 20 of us gathered in my room, and ended up playing “never have i ever.”

one thing about this game: there is no rule that you have to fill the blank in with any sort of detail. i’ve played before, and stated that “never have i ever spent more than $200 on a pair of shoes.” but, inevitably, the favored topics end up being sex and drugs.

i have a real love/hate thing for this game.

first of all, as you no doubt already guessed, i lose when i play. for example, when the east coast young woman confessed that never had she ever done any drug harder than marijuana, i toasted the group and hit the sauce. when someone else later stated that never had he ever had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period, i similarly succumbed.

but i’ve played this game before, and i knew what i was signing up for when i sat down to play. i knew that i was surrounded by younger (and, i assumed, pruder) people, and i was ok with that. but one of those younger people was my little brother. and when i sat down to play that particular night, it was with more than a little curiosity about how he might answer once the game got rolling.

i was fascinated by his responses in a horror-mixed, can’t turn away sort of way. on the one hand, i learned way more about my brother’s sexuality than i would ever have asked to know. on the other hand, i was validated by the similarity of his experiences to my own.

when the 19 year old sitting across from me giggled that never had she ever had anal sex, i turned my head toward the wall, and wino-like, secretly swigged from my bottle. the whole time, my face was burning. and yet i couldn’t stop myself from peeking in my brother’s direction to see his response. and i felt a twinge of happiness to see that he was drinking, too.

when her friend confessed that never had she ever had “BDS&M sex,” i didn’t even wait while others asked for clarification of what she meant: i drank. i drank quickly and quietly, and i glanced up to watch my brother do the same. this stirred my curiosity, and at the same time, i really didn’t want to know.

i also have to admit that i love this game. i love the humiliation, the exposure, the public shame. i love that helpless feeling of being forced to confess all those dirty things i’ve done (gladly) in front of a group of semi-strangers. and it was amplified by my brother’s presence.

sometimes, it’s thrilling to be the slut (especially once i’ve had a few, it doesn’t scare me as much to admit to my past). i love the anticipation of what the next player will say, the pit in my stomach when i hear her utter something i’ve totally done, the warmth in my face as i try to furtively raise my glass.

when it was my turn, i decided to get the younger girls back. it took me some time to craft a statement that would celebrate my naughtiness, putting them on the defensive. “never have i ever been hit non-consensually,” i stated.

they froze. a few of them looked at me with what could have been awe in their eyes. more of them drank than i would have liked. my brother didn’t drink. i felt proud of that.

the revenge wasn’t as sweet as i thought it would be, and i decided that for the rest of the game, i would rather be the drunkest slut in the room.


Responses

  1. confession is good for the soul??It is wonderful to have you back(in was an invitation)

  2. you didn’t tell me the part about the “nonconsensually hit” thing. it put a different spin on this story and kind of gave me chills.

  3. i loooove this game.i’m usually the drinkingest girl during the game, too. ;)it’s a real exhibitionist/vouyer pleasure to admit the filthy things i’ve done. i like shocking people.i havn’t played since being with Daddy, tho. i have a whole new crop of naughty things i’m proud/ashamed to display….i need to throw a party…;)

  4. welcome back lg!i actually hadn’t heard of the game until my adult years, and i found that it was used to humiliate more than it was to explore. was hearing your brother admit to SM tendencies make you at least wonder which side of the exchange he played? my own siblings are aware of my kink, but i do remember my shock when one of them asked me out of the blue what i liked about spanking someone. that was strange, especially since we grew up in a house where being put over the knee was a common discipline maneuver. i couldn’t tell if they were asking out of confusion or out of interest.

  5. You seem to be able to turn a “simple” game into a self-humiliating self-satisfying process. That, I find, is adorable. Would it be a wild guess to assume that you are very much undecided about the coming out/staying in question?-Third.

  6. thanks for all the kind welcome homes! it’s really nice that you all missed little old me. david,if i were a catholic, i might agree ๐Ÿ˜‰ for me, confession is really only good for one thing . . . persephone,i must have forgotten my attempt to control my humiliation. it sounds like you liked that part (at least i hope you meant the good kind of chills, not like creepy yucky ones).laani,it’s funny, i rarely think my revelations are shocking. i should ask someone if they are. i tend to just think i’m very naughty for having done so many bad things, and you know where that kind of thinking leads me? right into the gutter, i’m afraid ;)deity,excellent question! i do wonder about my brother, although my interest is tinged with the dread that accompanies all sexual thoughts about my family. it’s much less awful to think about my brother in that way than either one of my parents, actually. funny coming from the girl with the daddy fixation, isn’t it?third,well, adorable is a word i like to be associated with. thank you.if you mean “coming out” as a submissive, i’m pretty sure that isn’t likely to happen outside my private life. i tend to reveal that side of me on a “need to know” basis, mostly because i have to be able to maintain what little authority i might have, professionally speaking.thanks again for all the warm welcomes everyone. it’s really nice to be home.*lg

  7. Lg,It’s great to have you back again, posting and obviously feeling better. I have to admit it’s only been about 18months since I was introduced to this game, and I’ve only ever played it with a minimum of 3 of us (myself included) and a maximum of about 6. Although I haven’t had the big group interaction that you have, I agree 100% with what you said. Especially with your statement: “i also have to admit that i love this game. i love the humiliation, the exposure, the public shame. i love that helpless feeling of being forced to confess all those dirty things I’ve done (gladly)”. You’re obviously an honest person, one could lie while playing this game…but where would the fun be in that? (insert mischievous grin here). It’s a mixture for me, being torn between thinking “what will be their reaction when I drink to that?” and “should I really say that and drink to it, just to see if they’ve done what I’ve done?”I liked your last comment about being the drunkest slut in the room. It’s something us sluts have to accept when playing this game, and Lg, I’m right there with you girl. I think that’s part of the appeal about being a slut too..people knowing. And it’s especially rewarding when your Master calls you this, and it’s just re-enforced. Lucy

  8. I’ve never played it, and I’d love to sometime!

  9. lucy,you’re right. it would be easy to lie, but it wouldn’t be any fun at all. i’m glad to find another fan of the game! it would be funny to play it with a group of BDSM-minded folk, sometime. i would go from the easiest target to practically-virgin status.sheen,you definitely should try it sometime. it’s lots of fun, and it’s an innocent enough game to get started ๐Ÿ˜‰


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