Posted by: littlegirlyone | October 14, 2008

little miss wholesome goes to folsom

i have wanted to go to the folsom street fair since the first time i heard about it. i can’t say when that was, exactly, but it was probably more than 10 years ago. when i was younger, i was afraid to go by myself, and i was far too embarrassed to ask a friend to go with me. by the time i got old enough to feel like i could probably handle it alone, i was working in retail and never got sundays off, and i was dating mark.

mark did not like the idea of me going alone, and he was not at all interested in taking me. yet, somehow, i managed to convince him to go a few sundays ago. it was totally unplanned. and we were with a group of friends. and so, i totally unexpectedly got my wish.

there were two reasons that i wanted to go to the fair: the one i copped to, and the secret one. the easy to admit reason is that i truly feel that the fair is a piece of san francisco. as a native san franciscan, i felt that not having been kept me from knowing something important about my city. it was as if i hadn’t been to pride or to halloween in the castro or to the bay to breakers. i’ve been to all of those events, and i’ve never felt the urge to go back. i just feel content in the knowlege that i know what i’m missing, and happily sit those crowded mega spectacles out when they come around each year.

but folsom street fair occupied a special place in my imagination that none of those other events ever have. this brings me to my secret reason for wanting to go (which, undoubtedly, is no secret here): i wanted to experience a whole bunch of bdsm-people in a public (read: relatively safe) place.

i had all kinds of fantasies about what might happen to me at the folsom street fair, should i ever get the courage or permission to attend. i pictured myself running amok in a schoolgirl outfit, and eventually getting spanked for my misbehavior. publicly. and against my will.

of course, there was no way i could maintain my “i’m just going to experience san francisco, i’m so not kinky, i think this is all really weird/funny” exterior and show up in a schoolgirl outfit, let alone fulfill the rest of that fantasy. so i did the best i could, conscientiously choosing a flattering black dress (the same dress, actually, that i wore last year when i went to visit meg at her owners’ house. and, now that i think about it, the same dress that i wore when i went shopping at the fetish store. and when i took photos with T. maybe this is my default “i’m a submissive” outfit. maybe this dress holds some psychic energy from those interactions. maybe i just think bdsm=black). i put my hair up in a ponytail. i wore maryjanes. all in all, not a schoolgirl outfit, but certainly cute.

i was actually pretty disappointed with the whole experience. maybe i would have had more realistic expectations if i’d known about its billing as “the grand daddy of all leather events.” because there are two words in there that would have probably tipped me off: “daddy” and “leather.”

now i have to qualify what i’m about to say: i am in no way passing judgment on what i saw, or the people i saw doing it. this journal is a reflection of my own thoughts, opinions and experiences, and in no way is meant to degrade, insult, or promote intolerance toward any sexual orientation or kink. disclaimer completed.

ok. let’s start with daddy. i’ve got my own love for that word, but i already know that the men most people perceive as the “daddy” type are not my daddy type. my daddy type is more suits and ties and a bad day at the office. or jeans and a t-shirt. certainly not a leather daddy. oh, and also, my daddy type most definitely isn’t gay. (what would be the fun in that?)

and leather. well, leather doesn’t do it for me. leather hats, leather pants, leather chaps, leather harness thingys. i really could take them or leave them. especially on men. there’s just something about that whole “look” that i’m not into. (however, leather boots, especially big, black workboot looking ones, are a different story entirely. as are women’s boots.)

and i have to confess that largely, it was my perception that bdsm people = leather people that kept me (and sometimes continues to keep me) from believing that i can find the type of real life dominant that i’m also really attracted to. (more on this another time. now, back to the fair!)

the crowd seemed to be 90% gay men. which is totally fine with me, except that i usually feel pretty invisible in crowds of gay men. it’s not that i wanted attention, or that i thought i deserved any. but maybe, somewhere in my fantasy of the fair, i thought that i would get some attention. even if it was unwanted. the general lack of interest/sexual energy probably added to my disappointment that the reality was nothing like i’d imagined.

i wasn’t uncomfortable, except in the very few instances when a “crowd stroker” walked too close to me. this was completely unexpected, and apparently, par for the course. i must have seen 4 or 5 men, usually stark naked, handling their erections while walking through the crowd. i think of anything i saw, i felt this was the most disturbing/problematic. the street was crowded, with very little personal space. while everything i saw in the booths and on the stages was consensual, this sort of close contact with a man’s equipment was not. once i quite unwittingly almost brushed one with my hand. after that, i walked with my hands on my hips or crossed about my waist, to avoid touching something i didn’t want to. (and you should have seen the disquiet on the faces of my straight male companions.)

overall, i had a fun day. but i (somewhat sadly) did not find much that struck my fancy. the day was not a loss. i want to end on the positive, and tell you about the cool things i saw:

1. ponies! i saw the most interesting procession of a woman in a cart, with a parasol, being pulled by a red and white striped latex zebra guy, and escorted by a black latex pony guy. big kudos for creativity and awesome showmanship to those three! they made me wish i’d remembered a camera.

2. corset piercing. right about the time we were turning around to head out, i saw a table of ladies doing temporary piercings. one of them had a full, corset-style lacing of ribbon pinned to her back. it must have been about 30 piercings altogether. it was really cool looking. plus, i’ve always had a sort of dark interest in piercings. i blame it on the really intense experience i had getting my lip pierced years ago. it was the strangest thing; like a pain orgasm. i never felt anything like it before, or since . . . but, i digress.

3. suspension bondage. i’m sad to say that we got near this stage right as the girl was being untied. so, i really didn’t see her in suspension bondage, but i thought it was cool that she had been, and that other people had seen it.

ok, so that wraps up my review of the folsom street fair. overall, an educational, if somewhat personally unfulfilling experience. worth attending once. and like the bay to breakers and its mega-kin, probably not something i’d care to do again. on a related note, the weekend after, san francisco hosted its love parade. another event i haven’t been to, but a newer one (maybe like 4 or 5 years old?) i heard from sources that there was a large, latexy, kinky girl contingent, and i am truly sad that i missed it. ah well, you know where to look for me next year!


  1. Wow . . . what a show! Sounds like quite the cultural experience.XO

  2. Perhaps next year you can wear a leopard leotard and mark can lead you around on a leash?

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