Posted by: littlegirlyone | October 8, 2009

what a girl needs

i had never been to a fetish store.

before you decide i’m some wide-eyed baby, let me qualify my statement. i’ve been to sex toy stores – growing up in san francisco, Good Vibrations was a rite of passage. on each of my girl friends’ 18th birthdays, my traditional gift was a vibrator.

i can still remember my first vibe (in fact, i might even still have it somewhere), the smoothie. it was one of those metallic, vaguely phallic-shaped ones that took C batteries. at the time, my friends all told me that everyone knew C batteries were only for vibrators. this caused significant embarrassment when i finally wore out the first set and had to go buy more.

that vibrator was heavy, and i remember its weight pressed into my clit, the way it slid across me when i was wet, and how it went from barely humming to painful with a quarter turn twist. i don’t think i owned one until i was 17 or 18 myself. before i owned the smoothie, i got myself off digitally or by humping a pillow. after the smoothie, i was a vibrating addict.

since then, i’ve bought my share of sex toys. i’ve got one of those finger vibrators with different removable patches, i bought The Rabbit (and wore it out in a short 6 months). i bought a more high tech version of The Rabbit (also worn out). and finally, about a year ago, i bought the Bunny that i mention (now, also sadly passed on). what i loved about the bunny was that i didn’t have to hold a heavy shaft in place. in fact, it stayed put pretty well without any hands at all due to its handy harness and remote control features.

i bought each of these toys at Good Vibrations. i tell you about my collection to illustrate that i’m no babe in the woods when it comes to buying sex toys, in person (no internet cop-outs for me). not that each one hasn’t come at the expense of my blushing cheeks. but, according to my sources, Good Vibrations is practically a 7-11. And now that i’ve been, and seen and gawked and wondered, i agree.

this is the story, almost two years old now, about the first time i went to a fetish store(for those of you who like to picture the little girl wandering with her eyes wide, surrounded by implements she’s only imagined).

I went to Madame S, located in the sunny SOMA district of San Francisco. I was alone, wearing a dusty purple dress that swishes satisfyingly around my knees and ties at the waist with a shiny sash.

It was a fun (and intimidating) trip. I didn’t purchase anything, mostly because I couldn’t find the guts to pick something out and bring it to the counter. I wished I wasn’t in there alone (I was the sole shopper, and also didn’t have anyone with me) and I wished I’d been ordered to buy something rather than having to decide by myself, and have to pick something out. Eeek.

I wore cream leather flat shoes and a little bit of mascara. I got whistled at on my way from my car to the shop.

Once there, I had a bit of a hard time figuring out which door to go in. The doors were mirrored and heavy, and the wind nearly blew me over as the door closed behind me with a woosh, pressing me inside the shop. Three men stood at the front counter, and made pleasant smalltalk with me about the wind and the door, before I shuttled off to explore the shop. It was pretty big – much bigger than I’d expected it to be. There were all kinds of leather things and rubber things, a room full of girly things made out of latex, a wall full of shoes, another of corsets and a whole toy area, not to mention the row of spanking things and the wall of gags. It was kind of overwhelming at first, but I started with the latex. I wanted to touch it – I wanted to smell it. One of the guys yelled that I should holler for him if I needed help. I was grateful that he left me to my own devices in exploring the shop and nobody bothered me.

I took a fairly quick lap of the whole space to get my bearings, then proceeded to the girly boutique part of the shop. It was its own little boudior style area, complete with dressing rooms. I looked through all the latex clothing racks. It smelled sharp – industrial and sort of chemical-y. Not unpleasant, but also not a smell I would associate with clothes. Foreign. Different. I enjoyed looking at all of the outfits – I even found a couple of things I was tempted to try on. One was a little puffed sleeve shirt with a bow on the front. It was navy and white and it had a bow in the center like a sailor collar for girls. It was really cute.

I took my time inspecting how the pieces were constructed, running my fingers over the seams, tugging on them to test the stretchy material. I had fun looking at all the outfits, and the store has framed photographs of their models dressed in them which were fun to look at. I also spent a small bit of time examining the corsets – they were pretty and girly and very appealing.

I left the girly part and walked over to where the gags were in the more leather-y section. There were a LOT of different ones! I looked the most at the red rubber ball gags, squeezing the two different size balls between my fingers, imagining what it would feel like to put inside my mouth. There were all kinds of other restraint things, and lots of photos of models in that area. I also noticed the big case of pretty butt plugs with crystals on the ends (but I was too afraid to linger there long). Next to that case, lining an entire wall, were all kinds of spanking implements that I have only read about – paddles made out of wood, metal and rubber, some with holes and some without. Canes made out of rattan and some other plastic-y ones, floggers (even a rubber one which I've heard is really painful) and all kinds of other stuff. It was fun to see all this stuff I've only read about in real life, but I also felt very cautious around it.

After about a half hour of exploring, I left. As I drove away, I was bursting to tell someone about my experience. So, I called meg and told her about all the stuff I’d seen, and how it felt like a crazy store full of things I wasn’t sure existed. It was fun to talk to her. I realized though, as we chatted, that I truly regretted that I hadn’t bought anything, even though the idea of buying anything was completely overwhelming.


  1. i remember that! great post… i could totally see you walking amidst the aisles, staring up wide-eyed at all the glories around you.

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