Posted by: littlegirlyone | November 16, 2009

project orgasm: five

there is nothing appealing (to me)
about someone saying
awkwardly while looking to the side
“so, um, do you want me to…?”
and looking at my cunt.
no, i don’t
i really really don’t.

as a general rule, i don’t like receiving oral sex
but, i’ve made exceptions for the guys that want to do it
like really want to do it
like, will rip my panties off and hold me down and make me let them do it.
and in such exceptional circumstances, i’ve had exceptional orgasms.
truly, truly exceptional orgasms.

five (if you haven’t guessed already) is the bucking on your tongue kind,
the grinding on your mouth kind
the sliding on your fingers,
your face between my thighs,
wet, kissy, oral sex kind

there’s this idea in popular culture that we females (we of the delicate sex, of the moody vagina, the coy clitoris, and the elusive g-spot) can only orgasm when everything is “just right.” there’s this mythology that the female orgasm is something fickle, that can be lost because of the wrong lighting or the time of day, or the noise of the street. i won’t argue this might be the experience of many, but i will say that i have never felt that way about my own ecstasies except when it comes to having an oralsexgasm (yes, i just made that up). though in this case, it isn’t about the lighting or the time of day, it’s about enthusiasm, or the lack thereof.

in those rare instances where i’ve had an enthusiastic partner, lookout! these orgasms can be mindblowing. because they require another person (i’m not that flexible), i get to share them. i get the sense of being watched, but this time, i’m being watched from down there.  there’s something about the vulnerability of this that makes me feel all kinds of submissive little girl feelings. it’s hard for me to have someone down there, in the pink of it, watching. but because it’s hard, uncomfortable, requires vulnerability and opening, it’s right there in that love/hate territory that leads to the best sort of fulfillment.

cumming from oral sex feels like nothing else. it’s clitoral, like a vibrator orgasm, but it’s not hot and vibrating. it’s wet. it’s slow. it’s circular with just the perfect amount of pressure. frankly, it’s fantastic! i have cum this way from just a tongue swirling on my clitty, and i have cum this way with the addition of fingers in my ass and cunt (and oh! how i came, but that story is for another day). strangely, i don’t think i’ve ever orgasmed more than once from oral sex, but i think that’s because of the feelings of vulnerability that i have (wanting it to be over, even when it’s awesome. wanting to close my legs, even when i’m still twitching) more than a physical impossibility.

it’s commonly said that “most women” prefer to orgasm this way (or that most women can only orgasm this way with a partner). i have the exact opposite experience, but what about you? can you cum from oral sex? is it your preferred way to orgasm with a partner? what does the orgasm feel like? do you mind if it’s performed as “a favor?” spill it, ladies, in the comments section.


Responses

  1. LG- I also don't like recieving oral sex, and for me, it's definitely linked in with my submission. (Not wanting my lover to be in the mechanically submissive role???) I've talked to women who simply don't believe this: "but…but…all boys like blow jobs. Are you ok?" Like you, if I'm being forced to recieve it, then it can be exciting, but I think it's the domination more than the fellatio that does it for me.

  2. LG, once again I'm right there with you. If he's not incredibly into it, I can't cum. And if he is – Look Out! More than once is fine, because after the first time, I'm in a floaty place where it's all pleasure.Sadly, my husband is not in the "incredibly into it" camp. I do feel deprived. When he does do it, he pulls me on top of him, and I have to worry about suffocating him along w/my discomfort at being on top and w/not being convinced he really likes it.Lastly – and I don't like to admit this – having a wet sticky face really squicks me out. So I don't want to kiss him afterwards. It's not the taste. It's the wet chin. I HATE having a wet chin! Boys: do not lick my chin. Yick. (As his cum on my face – well, I still prefer it be IN my mouth rather than on it.)Still loving this series. Thanks for inviting comments and conversation!

  3. I don't understand these men who aren't incredibly into going down on their woman.Why wouldn't a want love to lick his woman's pussy while she's writhing in ecstasy?I know, I read about men and women who aren't into oral. I just don't get it.FD

  4. I remember the first time my husband did it to me when we were dating in high school, I had never experienced it before and it was amazing when you are discovering what turns you on and sensuality. But we don't do it much any more, sometimes he surprises me with it, but I don't find myself into it a much, the same with him fingering me, though he really likes doing that. I feel sometimes like if I am not assisting in the sexual feelings happening with us that I don't know how to respond. I feel ackward about my facial expressions, for some reason. I know it is usually silly but there it is.And, yes, I am not as into kissing him afterward, but to me it is more of the flavor of it. He sometimes tries to have me "suck him off" after he's cum in my vagina, but I just don't like tasting myself it seems.

  5. First of all, my gushing kudos to you for this series. It has been an absolute thrill to read. There have been some really exciting (and very scary) moments when i've been SO into the act, that she's squeezed her legs around my head and started to buck and thrust. Of course, as in most of my behaviors, i enjoy pushing, driving her to a sexual frenzy. This is no exception. However, i have heard more than once that cunnilingus is not something a Dom would do, which for me confirms what i've always been saying:I'm not a Dom.

  6. Gosh Deity, I guess I'm not either then. I didn't realize there was behavior that disqualified me. Who/where do I mail my dom-card back to?

  7. LG,In reading through the past few posts on your blog, I never realized that there are so many ways a women could have an orgasm. This has been something that, I have never really thought about in much detail until now. Until reading through your posts, I would have thought that there were only three ways a women has an orgasm: oral sex, masturbation, and intercourse. You shattered one of my assumptions that most women really enjoy receiving sex no matter how interested a person is in performing oral sex. I am curious if you have a preference receiving oral sex for a man or a women or if it does not really make a difference. Just before reading your 5th post about orgasm's, I read another post on a different blog that is also similar to what you are talking about in your past few posts called “Why Can’t Women Easily Achieve Orgasm?”. You can find the post on the Kinsey confidential blog at http://kinseyconfidential.org/women-easily-achieve-orgasm/ (there is also a podcast associated with the post).There are more people that are thinking about orgasm's than just you.Patrick

  8. Now, that, Patrick has to be one of the great understatements.

  9. "GoogleYour search – oralsexgasm – did not match any documents.Suggestions: * Make sure all words are spelled correctly. * Try different keywords. * Try more general keywords."David S

  10. So here is one of these places that being in a D/s relationship has really worked for me. Before, if a guy was going down on me I worried that he was doing it to please me and that made me feel all awkward and I didn't enjoy it much and I almost never, ever came. I had this running dialogue going on in my head, so not sexy "Omigosh, he's been doing that for like five minutes now and I'm not even close to cumming. And now he's slowed down so he's probably tired. And he's probably wondering when the hell I'm going to cum." etc. Now, because Richard only does what he wants, I know if he goes down on me it's because he wants to. So I can relax and enjoy the sensations and I cum like gangbusters. And sometimes I don't and I know that's okay too because he's not doing it so I can cum, he's doing it because he wants to do it. I don't even need the D/s part to enjoy it, although that can be really hot. Just the awesome physical sensations and not worrying about my partner do it for me.Fun post, girly! Thank you!xoAmy

  11. This is very probably my all-time favorite way to orgasm. Like you said, it's best when the person on the other end actually *wants* to do this. I'm very lucky that my darling B loveloveLOVES going down on me.I can cum with just his tongue on my clit, but I like it best with his fingers inside me, too. But it's gonna be sort of gentle otherwise it's like … too intense? I sometimes completely loose myself in the feelings [told ya, I LOVE it!] and it'll take awhile to cum. I *have* cum more than once, but sort of like with any other sort of orgasm, once is generally enough. The second time always seems to take much longer. And man, is it messy! When I masturbate, I'm pretty sure I don't get so gushy when I orgasm. But from oral? I leave puddles. And it's not spit lol.

  12. this usually only does it for me when it's completely out of my hands. when i have no choice in the matter. it's best when i'm tied up. then, i can completely relax and let go and know that he'll stop when he's ready, and i have no say in the matter.i've had some spectacular orgasms this way but, like orlando, it's probably more about not having any say in the matter than it is about the sensations for me. although the sensations can be quite mind blowing in the right context. 😉

  13. I've found the most powerfully exciting experience for a submissive woman is to be taken by surprise by a man. Oral seems least exciting to sub women, in my experience, maybe because the woman sees it coming! Personally, I like a surprise run into the rear… Jake

  14. this post has officially set my comments record! orlando, i can totally relate to the "not wanting my partner to be mechanically submissive." it's the same way i feel about breast worship (mostly). if he's going to be all nice and gentle with me, it just squicks me out. i want to be mauled and twisted. ahem–penny, you and i have similar experiences. it's been so much fun to read another woman that feels so similarly to me. my husband is *also* not a giver in that way. it's not his thing *at all.* i also don't want to be on top if i'm going to get it, i want to be pinned down 😉 as for the "wet chin," i actually like the taste of me, so i don't think that would bother me. florida dom, i think i've encountered many more men that *don't* get into it than contrariwise. kitten, my first oral experience was awful. i had to beg my high school boyfriend to try it, and his face was so pained, i immediately had him stop (he later came out as gay. my luck.) but i can see how oral would be something that might fall by the wayside. i do love fingering still, though. mark comes home and finds me in bed sometimes and just violates me and gets me all squirmy. and i love it.deity, thank you for the kudos. your praise makes me smile and blush! i suppose you and david and florida and richard could form your own group: Doms that Do It. LOL. patrick, i'm so pleased you've found this little project enlightening. and i'm glad to know that i'm not the only orgasm-fiend on the internets, thank you :)david s., thank you for confirming my suspicions. oralsexgasm is not a word, but it should be!amy, great to see you over here! you make an excellent point about one of the relaxing benefits of the D/s dynamic: no more worry about whether or not he *wants* to be doing whatever it is he's doing.nebbish, i wonder about all that wetness. what do you think it is? just the extra excitement, or something more?babygirl, welcome, and ohmygod. oral sex while tied up is one of my fantasies. i'm so jealous that you've had that experience!jake, thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment here! i'm sure many submissive women *do* like oral, some of my commenters among them. i do think that for me, it's about enthusiasm more than surprise. but a sneak in the rear, huh?

  15. LG — yes, a sneak in the rear. To me one of the most exciting ways to drive a submissive woman into crazy arousal is to drive my cock deep in the ass… and because it is coming from behind, it can be a bit sneaky and thus more exciting… and I also happen to LOVE a woman on her knees, although that certainly is not the only position for anal, but a very submissive one….J

  16. LG — I think it's my form of girl cum, yanno, like some girls squirt… I gush. Or I'm broken somehow LOL!

    • Hi. I’ve always wanted to experience a girl ‘gushing’ all over my face and into my mouth. Have you ever done this to your guy and what kind of response did you get? Harry

  17. Mmmmm . . . very nice, detailed descriptions. I think like many other erotic, sensual and sexual acts, oral needs to be done properly to allow both parties to enjoy the full effects. That being said, those effects can and do very widely, so there’s lots to experiment with here 😉

    And that’s the best part, isn’t it?

    XO


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