Posted by: littlegirlyone | July 5, 2010

A Hurty Week, part 5

Of course, after I posted the photo on my tumblr, I had only one thought: am I going to get to come? Daddy had let me come after both of the other days, and this day had by far been the hardest for me. It’s funny, something about orgasming comforts me. It’s one of the many strange ways I’m wired, I guess. And it’s one of the reasons that orgasm denial doesn’t work that well for me in practice–I have an emotional attachment to coming that’s not purely sexual. Something about getting off makes me feel safe, calm and held.

Even though you’d think I’d be used to it, actually asking Daddy for permission to come still embarrasses me. There’s something humiliating about asking him for such a sexual, personal thing. I feel slutty. I feel needy. It’s almost unbearable sometimes. Often, I’ll try to get him to say yes without my having to ask directly. But today, I didn’t want to beat around the bush; I posted the picture on tumblr, sent him a link, and swallowed my pride.

“Do I get to come?”

“No. You can come tomorrow if you do a better job.”

“But…I tried really hard today. And I’m sad. And I think I would feel better if I came,” I pleaded. “And, I’ll try harder tomorrow no matter what.”

“No, piglet. Tomorrow. If you’re good.”

“I don’t like that.” I felt tender, almost on the verge of crying.

“I’m sure. But? You’re the bitch. That’s your life.”

“I like it better when I get to come when I want to. Why can’t that be the rule?” I knew I was testing him by whining, but I didn’t particularly care. I definitely don’t enjoy being denied orgasms. It’s not even a love/hate thing. Daddy saying no brings out my testiest, poutiest, grumpiest side. It often feels unfair. Don’t get me wrong, I love begging to be allowed to come in the heat of the moment, but only when the answer is yes. Otherwise, I get really defiant.

Daddy smiled at me indulgently.

“What are you?”

I crossed my arms and pouted.

“Your bitch.” I hate that term.

“And what rules do you get to make?”

“None,” I conceded. “But don’t I get to tell you if I don’t like something?”

“You do. You get to tell me what you want, and I get to tell you no. For any reason, or for no reason at all. Because I’m the Daddy, and that’s how this works.”

“Yes, Daddy.” I dropped my head. Then, with a moment of inspiration, I looked up. “I’ll hit my leg more with the spoon right now if you’ll let me come.”

“I said no. Now scoot.”

I didn’t have anywhere to go, and told him so. He told me he needed to work for a while, and to leave him alone so that he could. I stopped chatting, but I left my window open just in case he needed me.

A while passed, and he came back. He told me he liked the picture on my tumblr, and the comments I was getting from people about how sexy they thought the scenario was.

“I love thinking about that,” he said.

“What? People getting off thinking about us?” I grinned.

“About you. Your body. Your bruises.”

I glowed from that. I love thinking about people getting off thinking about me, too. I know most of you know that about me. But it made me really happy that my Daddy enjoyed that thought also. It felt nice that he shared my kink for turning on the (mostly) invisible masses.

“It is nice, isn’t it?”

You are nice. I’m a super lucky mean guy.”

“And I’m a super lucky little girl,” I continued.

“If you were here right now, I’d let you suck my cock to your heart’s content. Get me off as many times as you could. But you wouldn’t get to come. You could just bury all your frustration in your mouth and throat, and your hands and your tits. Making me come.” Daddy smiled. “I came like 45 minutes ago, and I could come again. You do a thing to me piglet. You’re like catnip.”

I sighed. I loved that description so so much.

“Look at you. So happy. I’m your crowning achievement, huh?”

I smiled slowly.

“I’m your most accomplished seduction.” He continued, “you’ve done something to me, sweetheart. I spend all day thinking about doing unspeakable things to you.”

I giggled. “Just wait til you let me tie you up.”

He laughed, “is that right?”

I nodded.

“Post-orgasm torture like the world has never seen?”

“Oh, I have soooo many ideas about what to do to you,” I responded confidently. “But I can’t tell you. Not now. I have to keep you thinking I’m a super sweet little girl. That I don’t have it in me. Otherwise you’ll never let me tie you up to begin with.”

“Whatever,” Daddy chuckled. He was indulging me.

“It’s ok. You’re not ready. And one day when you are? You’ll tell me. And I’ll remind you about all these conversations, about all the times you swore you wouldn’t let me…” I trailed off.

“That is kinda hot.”

“I know.”

“I want to keep talking about this,” he said. “And I just love you to pieces. But I have to get going. Can we stay here for a while?”

“You mean, I get to be the boss for a while?”

“Well, at least let’s keep talking about it. It’s so sexy.”

“It is,” I agreed.

“Although, we have another chubby thigh to beat the fuck out of tomorrow.”

“We don’t have to…” I trailed off.

“Yes, we do,” he promised.

“Well, ok. I love that we can flip flop like this anyway.”

“Do you? It doesn’t make you feel crazy?”

“No,” I assured him. “It doesn’t make me feel crazy at all. It makes me happy. I like to be able to push back sometimes.

“I am so lucky. I must have been very good in a previous life to find you.”

I grinned, said goodbye, and left the computer feeling better than I had all week. Which, in retrospect, is funny. I had hurt myself horribly for him, and he’d been disappointed. I had been denied an orgasm. I had been dismissed. I had been pushed, hard. But for some reason, we’d ended in such a good place that I felt ready to do it all over again the next day. And, I suppose, that’s exactly what he wanted me to feel.


Responses

  1. brilliant!

  2. I love your exchange with him, and how it took those turns. beautiful!

  3. Terrific entry!

  4. I can’t wait to hear what you do when you both switch your roles…

  5. It’s so hot when a girl needs to come so badly and then has to ask, and hates the embarrassment, and the need and the humiliation are warring together. That’s the place I always want to put her in.

  6. I am always fascinated reading about women submitting to orgasm denial, since I have a pet theory that it’s mostly a male kink. There are exceptions….I’m sure you’ve read http://www.247richardandamy.com/?p=128 about Megan, who doesn’t get to come anymore. But mostly, it’s guys who go for that. By my own rough estimate, chastity is six to one in favor of boys, and I expect that chaste girls get let out after an hour or so, whereas the boys are all about how long they can stay locked up.

    Maybe you should run a sequel to your orgasm project. The “no orgasm” project. I’m in.

    • Um, I have sooo many thoughts about male orgasm control v. female orgasm control. I think we should collaborate on some kind of project about it! That would be really interesting 🙂


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